When the second air raid happens on September 19, it was all pretty much the same get up head to the shelter and pray that the bombs wouldn’t hit them. On this day everyone was just very nerves yelling out, crying just pretty much acting like normal human begins afraid to die. Liesel not wanting to be aware of what is happing starts reading her book “The Whistler” when she does she can’t really hear herself so she reads out loud. Ruby looking around at the time sees that Liesel is reading and gets his brothers to listen to her. “Rudy who noticed, paid attention to what Liesel was reading, and he tapped his brother and his sisters, telling them to do the same.” (Zusak 381) Shortly after everyone start to quiet down to hear the girl that at one point couldn’t read or even imaged herself reading to a crowd of people. Liesel not wanting to look up and see all the eyes that where focused on her keeps reading.” A quietness started bleeding through the crowded basement. By page three, everyone was silent but Liesel. She didn’t dare look up, but she could feel their frightened eyes hanging on to her as she hauled the words in and breathed them out.” (Zusak 381) Liesel reading clams everyone down and kind of makes them forget for a little bit of what is going on. Frau Holtzapfel asks Liesel to keep reading and asks her why she had chosen that book since he always was whistling. I think that Frau has changed because of all the scary things they have gone through. What I say is of course who wouldn’t change how they are when going through all that bombs, life threats, and never having peace. I have never really been in a situation that I had to comfort someone as scared as the people in the book. I have been there to comfort friends that have been through or are going through hard situations. What I mostly tell me friends is that everything will be okay that things happen and there’s nothing no one can do to stop them. My relationship with my friends well the ones who did take some advice I would give them got stronger and they trusted me more because they knew all I wanted to do was help them.
6/10: Good start, but some improvements needed:
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Make sure to spell check!
Run-on: When the second air raid happens on September 19, it was all pretty much the same get up head to the shelter and pray that the bombs wouldn’t hit them.
Run-on: Liesel not wanting to be aware of what is happing starts reading her book “The Whistler” when she does she can’t really hear herself so she reads out loud.
punctuation placement: “Rudy who noticed, paid attention to what Liesel was reading, and he tapped his brother and his sisters, telling them to do the same.” (Zusak 381) and ” A quietness started bleeding through the crowded basement. By page three, everyone was silent but Liesel. She didn’t dare look up, but she could feel their frightened eyes hanging on to her as she hauled the words in and breathed them out.” (Zusak 381)
Start a new paragraph when you start a new subject, like when you start writing about Frau Holtzapfel or your own experience.